One Word 2016

Every year I choose one word that motivates me throughout the year. I try and connect to the word, it is one that motivates, encourages and reminds me to keep going, to keep trying to be better. To do better than the day before. Read more about it here. My word for 2015 was "Moxie"
moxie |ˈmäksē| noun informal

force of character, determination, or nerve.

I feel like this word has really supported throughout 2015. Especially in areas where I would typically back out or back down. Fear is something that constantly walks before me. I feel like this year I have been able to overcome fear in many areas of my life.

For 2016 I have chosen the word "Rooted". I know it's not a beautiful word. But it is a strong word. I feel like this year I have so much on my plate. Between classes for my Holy Yoga certification, moving into a new home, homeschooling my oldest, sharing my Young Living business and all my other regular activities, I feel like it would be easy to fall apart. I feel like I am not capable to juggle all of these things without dropping the ball somewhere.
This is WHY I have chosen the word "rooted". In order for me to balance all of these things in my life, I need to be grounded. Just like in yoga, when you are standing and trying to do a balance pose you are always supposed to root your feet into the ground. Make a solid and strong foundation before moving into the pose. If you don't, you will lose balance and fall out of your pose. First I need to stay rooted in God's Word. I need to listen to His voice and spend time with Him. He is my biggest fan and He believes in me more than anyone else. Sometimes the voice of doubt can speak so loudly inside our head, causing to become discouraged, to lose balance. So first I must stay rooted in my relationship with God. Second, I need to stay rooted in my marriage. My husband is amazing. He is always willing to help me out and he is probably my second biggest fan. It is so easy to get busy and overwhelmed and end up taking things out on those that we love. I don't want my marriage to suffer because I am pursuing my calling. I need to keep the lines of communication open and stay rooted in my marriage. Third, I must stay rooted as a Mother. I have 4 kids and it is so easy to tell them "not right now, I am too busy". My kids are everything to me and I do not want to lose their hearts. I need to stay rooted as a Mother and listen and tend to the needs of my children. Fourth, I need to stay rooted in the moment. I know that for me I can let the voices of my past discourage me. If I think about all that is to come I may panic and step back into fear. Plus, I need to enjoy the present. I need to be thankful for the now because I am not promised a tomorrow.

“I'm planting a tree to teach me to gather strength from my deepest roots.” 
― Andrea Koehle Jones, The Wish Trees

Session 1 Holy Yoga Reflections journaling.

Part of my certification course requires me to journal, lucky for me I really enjoy writing my thoughts down :) Our reading for this coming week was in Exodus 3 & 4 and we are looking at Moses. He fled Egypt after he committed murder. He later married Zipporah and became a part of Jethro's family. As Moses is going up a mountain he sees a bush that was on fire, but it wasn't burning. That is when he met God. God spoke to him and wanted him to go back to Egypt. God wanted to use Moses, he wanted him to demand that Pharaoh let the Israelites go free. But Moses told God "please send someone else." Over and over he made excuses, he was telling God no, please, no. Finally God becomes angry and sick of his excuses and said "fine take your brother Aaron and he will speak for you". Moses ran out of excuses and he said okay.
What I found to be so crazy is the fact that Moses was more afraid of his past, the people in his past than he was of GOD!!!!! When you think of it, it is absolutely ludicrous and yet how often do we fall in the same category as Moses?
 Moses grew up in Egypt. He knew the people and the hearts of the people. He knew Pharaoh and his wrath. The Egyptians wanted to kill Moses. Exodus 4:19 says:
19 Before Moses left Midian, the Lord said to him, “Return to Egypt, for all those who wanted to kill you have died.”
You see, God knew the real reason Moses did not want to go back to his homeland. Moses had so much fear in his heart and it was so strong that it was keeping him from obeying God's will for his life.

I look at Moses and think, "man you're a fool" but in all honesty, I am that same fool. There have been so many times in my life that I have failed to obey God's command. I didn't grow up in a house where I was encouraged and told that I can be anyone or do anything that my heart desired. In fact on my wedding day my Mother asked my husband "Are you sure you want to marry her? All she knows how to do is sit pretty." Thankfully my Mother no longer believes that and she sees that I am capable of so much more that just "sitting pretty". I don't say this to make her look bad but to give the understanding of why I lack confidence in so many areas of my life. For so long I would not try anything because I was sure I was going to fail. In fact I use to never work out because I thought that I would just do it all wrong and then give up, so why even start? I hate cooking or baking, because I am not very good at it. I don't know how to compliment flavors and I don't know the steps to making a perfect dessert. My Mother in Law is a fabulous cook and I know I can't compete with her cooking. She is an amazing housekeeper, where I am a bit lazy and I don't pay attention to detail. I procrastinate and will leave the laundry on the floor for 3 days before putting it all away. But as the years have gone on, I have managed to keep my family fed and my home is cockroach free. :) I have gotten better at cooking and baking. I am still not the best housekeeper but my house never looks torn from one end to the other (ok sometimes it does but it doesn't stay that way for long). 

I have always believed that I was not capable of doing anything well. I doubted myself in every area. My fears kept me from pursuing different paths.

Moses didn't just doubt himself, he was doubting God. Even after seeing the miracles on that mountain, he still doubted God. God is yelling at him "don't worry I will take care of it" and Moses is crying out "please just send someone else". He feared man, more than God. He doubted himself and doubted God's might power. 

This year, 2016, I am pursuing something that is so much bigger than myself. I doubt myself. I have fear. Thoughts will overwhelm me and I have to remind myself that God has chosen this path for me. Because of that I need to have faith in Him and I must not be like Moses and say "please send someone else". Instead I want to reply "here I am God, send me". Use me. Choose me. Help me. Putting my fear behind me and my faith before me. 

Will you choose faith over fear this year?