Are you a giver?

So this post is more out of frustration, or maybe hurt. I'm not exactly sure because honestly I have a difficult time pinpointing my emotions. Most of the time I just think if i'm feeling emotional it is for stupid reasons and thus I must be PMSing. Majority of the time I don't feel anything. I am simply content. Happy. But ever so often I get "angry." I put it in quotations because I think that's the emotion I'm feeling, maybe "hurt" is a more accurate description. Here's the thing, i'm a giver. I give people my time, I give people free stuff (ALL THE TIME) and no it isn't because i'm hoping they'll will eventually buy something from me. I give out oils because I think it can help someone, I give free Norwex stuff because I want it to be a blessing to someone. I give my time and will reach out to people to see how they are doing. And don't get me wrong, I LOVE doing all of those things and I don't expect anything in return. But sometimes I feel like I could fall off the face of the earth and nobody would bother to check on me except my family and maybe after a week, 1-2 friends. There are people that I feel like I have poured my energy, my heart, my time into and then when they have taken what I have to give, I don't hear from them. At All. Unless I contact them. Maybe I don't feel valued? Am I feeling disposable? I don't know. I just know that it bothers me.

I don't want to sound selfish. Am I being selfish? I don't know. Again, maybe I am overreacting and maybe I am just hormonal. I mean does it even matter? Feeling valued and appreciated by others? I know my family values me and appreciates me and that should be enough right?

But this feeling that I have, makes me want to pull back. Not give. Not pour into other people's lives. Though I know that isn't going to happen because that's not who I am. I'm a Giver and Givers don't just stop giving unless they become bitter. I don't want bitterness, I would rather just give.