He Knows When My Heartbeats

I'm sitting here at my desk, I have the Piano Guys playing on Pandora. The kids are all tucked in for the night but I can still hear Ben talking to Abby. The laundry is tumbling around and around and I know that tomorrow is going to be a busy day so it will probably need to be ran a second time to get the wrinkles out (plus I like laying in the clothes when it is nice and warm :) I just got over a 24 hour stomach flu and so I am sipping on honey/lemon/ginger/peppermint essential Oil infused water. As I am sitting here, I am reflecting on the day and on the message at Sagebrush Church this pass Sunday.  Last week when my husband and I were out on a date he shared his heart with me on some things, I also some things that were on my heart. Fears. Insecurities. Doubt. Uncertainty. Then on Sunday Pastor Todd preached a message as if he was eavesdropping in on our conversation. Word for word he said exactly what my husband had said to me. I know it wasn't Pastor Todd eavesdropping, but God sure was and that just lifts my soul. You see, God pays attention. He listens to all the words that we say, and all the thoughts that we think, He hears them all. Sometimes He lets us work things out for ourselves and then sometimes He speaks to us through others.

As January approaches I am to start my classes on becoming a certified holy yoga instructor. When I start to even think about it I can feel my heart start to quicken. I feel the nervousness on the surface of my skin. Then the flood of negative thoughts come pouring into my mind. I will watch all these amazing people on Instagram do all these crazy strong yoga poses and I think, I have to be where they are in order to be qualified to even become certified. Which logically I know that isn't true. But our minds can be our worst enemy. But can I say that GOD HEARS MY EVERY HEARTBEAT!!  He is my Master and my Creator. Not only does he hear my heartbeat but He hears and feels every fear that floats in between.
I began listening to past messages about Fear by Pastor Todd, and I would still question and wonder or more appropriately doubt myself and God. I have a heart for helping others, especially those that have experienced heartache. I believe that I can help more people that I wouldn't generally come in contact with through being an Holy Yoga Instructor. I want to inspire people, to encourage them and lift them up. I want them to draw closer to God in the their hearts and on their mats. Yoga has done that for me and I am so thankful for it. But in the back of my mind was a constant voice of self doubt. Then it happened again. God spoke to me and lifted my soul through someone else. This person isn't a close friend, we don't even know each that well but she sent me a message through facebook and then she asked me where I was going to get my certification and I told her. I also said that I am excited and scared at the same time. She said this to me, "I think you would be phenomenal .. You have a calm and confident presence.. You've been practicing with (so and so) a lot who is actually a master instructor and (so and so) who is crazy experienced .. She has years upon years under her belt .. That's two fantastic instructors to have been practicing with .. and if it's calling you.. Then I say go for it .. " and "I'm sure you will do amazing. Don't be scared..
Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding .. Acknowledge him in all your ways and he will make your paths straight
Proverbs 3:5-6

After reading this I began to cry because I respect this person, I respect her opinion and what she thinks. I didn't know she was a Christian. I felt like God used her to be an encouragement to me, to my beating heart. I feel like more than ever, this is God's will for me. I feel as if His hand is upon me and His blessings. So I want to praise Him, because even though he is so busy, He still takes the time to quiet my thoughts, to be the breath that I need. He hears the beat of my heart and the cries in between. I serve a loving God and I am forever grateful.

2016 has a lot in store for me. We bought a new home and we'll be moving into it at the end of January. I will start homeschooling my oldest and I will be taking classes as well towards becoming a Holy Yoga Instructor. I am so thankful to have God by my side because I can never do any of this alone.

Namaste