And So My Journey Begins...

Tonight I paid in full and registered for my Holy Yoga certification courses. Instantly my stomach felt sick. 1. because it is a lot of money 2. because I doubt myself so much 3. because I am excited about what lies ahead.  I have never had a panic attack but I did have to slow my breathing and I did start crying. I am so thankful for my husband who has been so supportive and he believes in me so much.
So why do I want to do this? What am I even thinking? I began doing yoga since August 2015. That isn't very long and I'm not sure how long others have been doing yoga before they decide to become an instructor but I do know that it is my heart's desire to become an instructor. I believe that yoga is so amazing for the body. It has been a workout like none other that I have done. And it is more than just the body, it is about the mind and the spirit. But what I love the most is that I can meet Jesus on my mat. I love that I can meditate on His words, I can praise Him for the blessings in my life. I can beg him to help me, to strengthen me. Whatever is on my heart, I bring it on my mat and I give it to Him. For those that are confused let me run through my routine of what I do.
I arrive on my mat and I sit down. I pull out my essential oils, my favorite is Believe (from Young Living) I put a drop on my hand and rub my hands together then place one hand on my heart and one on my forehead. I close my eyes and I pray. I come to His throne and I ask Him to meet me on my mat, in my practice. I then apply my peppermint and deep relief to support my muscles and my respiratory system (my breathing). I lie down on my mat and I will think about what I want to gain from my practice. "Father, help me. Help me to forgive. Help me to love. Help me to be patient." These are some of the things I ask. "God you are able. I thank you for the breath you breathed into me." As I begin my practice, every time I reach for that breath I imagine God breathing life into me. Every time my arms are raised to the sky, I am reaching for His hands, giving all that I have to Him. Every time I am in a pose and I feel weak I think "I can do all things through Christ" Whenever we hold a pose and I am dying to come out of it and we finally do, I say "this is grace." You see, all of my practice is centered around worshiping God, drawing closer to Him. Sure, I am working out and I am focusing on leaning forward, lifting my foot, straightening my leg, pulling in my abs, breathing etc..... But I never forget God. The final pose is the resting pose. Just lying on your back. As I lie there I thank Him for a body that is able. For my health. For my life, my breath, my salvation. I ask God to help me to carry that breath throughout the day. When things get hairy, and I want to give in or blow up, that His breath will return to me.
That is my practice. That is me, meeting Jesus on the mat. It isn't my only form of worship. It isn't my only time with Him. But it is one of the ways that I connect with my Heavenly Father.
This is why I want to be a Holy Yoga instructor. So I can encourage and teach others to meet Jesus on their mats. To encourage them to carry His breath with them throughout the day. To hand their burdens over to Christ. To praise Him for a body that is able. I know that there is fear and doubt. I question myself, but that isn't from God. I know I have prayed about this, I believe that He is guiding me and drawing my path before me and I will continually come before His throne and find my confidence in Him.
If you have never attended a Holy Yoga Class, I encourage you to do so. :)

He Knows When My Heartbeats

I'm sitting here at my desk, I have the Piano Guys playing on Pandora. The kids are all tucked in for the night but I can still hear Ben talking to Abby. The laundry is tumbling around and around and I know that tomorrow is going to be a busy day so it will probably need to be ran a second time to get the wrinkles out (plus I like laying in the clothes when it is nice and warm :) I just got over a 24 hour stomach flu and so I am sipping on honey/lemon/ginger/peppermint essential Oil infused water. As I am sitting here, I am reflecting on the day and on the message at Sagebrush Church this pass Sunday.  Last week when my husband and I were out on a date he shared his heart with me on some things, I also some things that were on my heart. Fears. Insecurities. Doubt. Uncertainty. Then on Sunday Pastor Todd preached a message as if he was eavesdropping in on our conversation. Word for word he said exactly what my husband had said to me. I know it wasn't Pastor Todd eavesdropping, but God sure was and that just lifts my soul. You see, God pays attention. He listens to all the words that we say, and all the thoughts that we think, He hears them all. Sometimes He lets us work things out for ourselves and then sometimes He speaks to us through others.

As January approaches I am to start my classes on becoming a certified holy yoga instructor. When I start to even think about it I can feel my heart start to quicken. I feel the nervousness on the surface of my skin. Then the flood of negative thoughts come pouring into my mind. I will watch all these amazing people on Instagram do all these crazy strong yoga poses and I think, I have to be where they are in order to be qualified to even become certified. Which logically I know that isn't true. But our minds can be our worst enemy. But can I say that GOD HEARS MY EVERY HEARTBEAT!!  He is my Master and my Creator. Not only does he hear my heartbeat but He hears and feels every fear that floats in between.
I began listening to past messages about Fear by Pastor Todd, and I would still question and wonder or more appropriately doubt myself and God. I have a heart for helping others, especially those that have experienced heartache. I believe that I can help more people that I wouldn't generally come in contact with through being an Holy Yoga Instructor. I want to inspire people, to encourage them and lift them up. I want them to draw closer to God in the their hearts and on their mats. Yoga has done that for me and I am so thankful for it. But in the back of my mind was a constant voice of self doubt. Then it happened again. God spoke to me and lifted my soul through someone else. This person isn't a close friend, we don't even know each that well but she sent me a message through facebook and then she asked me where I was going to get my certification and I told her. I also said that I am excited and scared at the same time. She said this to me, "I think you would be phenomenal .. You have a calm and confident presence.. You've been practicing with (so and so) a lot who is actually a master instructor and (so and so) who is crazy experienced .. She has years upon years under her belt .. That's two fantastic instructors to have been practicing with .. and if it's calling you.. Then I say go for it .. " and "I'm sure you will do amazing. Don't be scared..
Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding .. Acknowledge him in all your ways and he will make your paths straight
Proverbs 3:5-6

After reading this I began to cry because I respect this person, I respect her opinion and what she thinks. I didn't know she was a Christian. I felt like God used her to be an encouragement to me, to my beating heart. I feel like more than ever, this is God's will for me. I feel as if His hand is upon me and His blessings. So I want to praise Him, because even though he is so busy, He still takes the time to quiet my thoughts, to be the breath that I need. He hears the beat of my heart and the cries in between. I serve a loving God and I am forever grateful.

2016 has a lot in store for me. We bought a new home and we'll be moving into it at the end of January. I will start homeschooling my oldest and I will be taking classes as well towards becoming a Holy Yoga Instructor. I am so thankful to have God by my side because I can never do any of this alone.

Namaste